The depth of friendship

I am 27 years old and I am still struggling to grapple the concept of friendship. Friendship is complex as it is a generic term given to different kinds of relations. Friendship like any other relation is made up ofย  love, care, trust, honesty, ego, expectations and strength. Love plays a significant role as it takes a heart to love a friend.

I have a track record of broken friendships. It has been a rough ride and I often wonder if there is some chemical imbalance in my brain which makes people run for their lives! I have learnt many lessons about friends and it has been quite hard on me emotionally as it is heart-breaking to lose friends. With each friend, there are special memories and those memories turn into a distant souvenir that is put in a box and locked deep inside once the relationship ends. After a few broken friendships, I started treading more carefully in order to understand the meaning of friends. I then realized that friends cannot be defined by words as they are much more than words…they are people that grow with you and see the good in you.

If only Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross and Rachel existed in each of our lives! Do friends like that really exist? Are there friends who can talk about anything under the sun and fight and argue and still finish the day with a beer? Maybe they do! I have one friend that I could call my friend forever or my go to person and it makes me feel lucky and blessed. I have come to understand that even if you are able to make that one friend that you can talk to, laugh with, cry with, argue with, brainstorm with, have late night conversations about saving the world, you have done it! Friendship to me is not about how many friends you have nor is it about being polite, kind and sweet but it is about a few good friends who are honest, trust you, love you and care about you. Honesty is most important as it keeps relations real and progressive and if you are not able to be honest with your friend, you need to ask yourself if that person is really your friend. If honesty breaks a relation, then that relation is better non-existent.

At the end of the day, I am happy with a few beautiful friends that accompany me in my journey of life by sharing my happiness, tears and my dreams and are able to work with me in making this world a better place with more love and less pain ๐Ÿ™‚

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6 comments

  1. Maureen Gumbe · June 18, 2012

    Very nicely stated Daphne. You’ve got your hand on the pulse of it all. You do understand what a friendship is. Yes the word friend is always used loosely, but I agree with you wholeheartedly on what true friendship is. It is also a question of trust, confidence in the other person and is much like a marriage in my opinion. Continue to be a good friend. You are already a lovely person.

    • wanderingdaph · June 19, 2012

      Thank you so much Maureen! It is encouraging to read your comment and yes, friendship is like a marriage ๐Ÿ™‚ Its like a love that surpasses infatuation and the true nature of relationship between two persons unfolds.

  2. Krysta · June 18, 2012

    I second what Maureen said about it being like a marriage – it’s just as precious and takes a lot of work! Loved everything you had to say – esp about honesty making for a “progressive” friendship – perfect description! Love the souvenir metaphor – makes it seem less unpleasant or bitter than we may think of broken relations…

    • wanderingdaph · June 19, 2012

      Thanks Krysta ๐Ÿ™‚ You are my go-to-person by the way!!! Love you lots

  3. Uday Isaac Gnanadason · June 19, 2012

    Are you a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime?
    Reason, Season, or Lifetime
    People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
    When you figure out which one it is,
    you will know what to do for each person.
    When someone is in your life for a REASON,
    it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
    They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
    to provide you with guidance and support;
    to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
    They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
    They are there for the reason you need them to be.
    Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
    this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
    Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
    Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
    What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
    The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
    Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
    because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
    They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
    They may teach you something you have never done.
    They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
    Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
    LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
    things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
    Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
    and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
    It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
    โ€” Unknown

    • wanderingdaph · June 19, 2012

      Thank you Uday. I am also grateful for the friend I have in you and I think you are in for a lifetime ๐Ÿ™‚

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